How could there ever be anything else?

I sat in the parking lot of Isaiah’s school and cried this morning. He was late, again. I just can’t get it together. I just can’t make myself give a crap about tardys and the pledge of allegiance. It’s just so hard to remember what to do in the morning. What do you need for school kid? Ugh, let me think… It’s like slogging through mud while being whined at by a very grumpy mini-me.

After another whirlwind morning where I came away feeling like I need the ‘suckiest mom of the year’ award I stumbled to the car, plopped my rear in the seat and bawled. I sat there staring at the school where just a few months ago I would sit in my car with my baby waiting for my happy kindergartener to emerge. Now everything has changed.

Smiles are painful work for me now and my happy kindergartener is a morose first grader, my baby is gone forever. Depression wraps its cloak around me and I wonder, “How could there ever be anything else?”