The phrase “a living hell” keeps coming to mind. I mentally scold myself for thinking it. Hell is a real place, not just a turn of phrase but that’s how I feel. I’m in anguish. It’s an anguish so powerful there is no voice for it. I’m so overcome with horror I can’t even cry. My house is empty.
The cradle of all of my happiness, the gathering place for my precious ones is empty. There was no bedtime routine tonight. No lullaby to sing. Damon wont wake up in the middle of the night and need his pacifier. The blackness is so profound, so thorough, there are no words.
God my God I cry out, your beloved needs you now.
Love you so much.
ReplyDeleteApril 13th is my 6 month "angelversary" and the 11th there will be a 1st birthday and an empty cradle. I am in a different season of anguish, but toniught sweet Jodie these words pierced my soul. I remember this moment I can feel your horror your sorrow I am in this world of confusion hurt and my tears scream just like yours. I can see you sitting down and as you write and the tears just flow. Jesus is weeping with you...he wept for the family that Lazarus had left behind. He saw them in complete sorrow and he wept...those words are in red...Jodie He weeps with you. He calms the storm inside your heart inside my heart. Your words are healing to me your strength is so inspiring... I see the strength of the Lord with you. I feel the Holy Spirit throughtout my entire body when I pray for you.
ReplyDeleteI am weeping with you. My sweet Enoch left my arms in November of 2010. I have suffered severe depression since he left my side. My only hope is my faith that he is in the arms of my Father in Heaven and one day I will hold him again. I am praying for you. May God hold you tightly while you morn.
ReplyDeleteI continue to pray for you.
ReplyDelete